What Hurts The Most

What Hurts The Most

I wonder how you’re doing right now. It’s been a week now that I haven’t seen you in person. We don’t chat no more. You answer calls no more. All of a sudden, my world came crashing down.

O: You know how you always appear offline, and then you says hi everytime I go online?
M: Yeah. What about it?
O: What if one day, when I go online, you never call anymore?
M: That means I am really offline.

I’m still figuring out what happened to us. All the things you said and done previously gave me hope on us. That’s why I made the move so confidently. But when you said no that night, I was filled with disbelief. Even until today. You gave too many excuses as to why we shouldn’t be together. And I don’t know which ones are real, and which ones are merely to discourage me. It is so hard to fix me when I don’t even know why.

I truly hope you’re not avoiding me. I’ve risked our close friendship by saying things at the wrong timing. At this moment, I just wish that our friendship is still as close as previously. The thought of losing you completely is driving me so mad. And I’m too scared to find out.

“What hurts the most was being so close, and having so much to say, and watching you walk away…”

Walking Away

PS. You said you cried listening to Rezza’s “Biar Menjadi Kenangan”. And only now, after looking at the lyrics and recalling your past do I understand why. Somehow we can relate to that song too, with me being the girl, and you being the boy in the lyrics. It is indeed a sad song 🙁

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