It’s now three o’clock in the morning. Tomorrow’s public holiday, and I’m planning to go on a roadtrip to Mornington Peninsula with friends, leaving Melbourne around nine in the morning. And right now, I’m still awake, writing my thoughts.
I’m feeling pretty miserable right now, already lying in bed since 3 hours ago, but still unable to fall asleep. Funny thing is, I didn’t have any coffee at all. I dunno, maybe two nights of irregular sleeping pattern has completely ruined my body clock. Or perhaps I’m just thinking too much right now.
A lot of memories flashed back when I was lying in bed, trying to sleep. With my eyes shut, I still could see clearly those memories in my life. Things that happened during my high school, during my uni, and things that happened recently. How I grew up. Friends that I’ve made along the way. How I spent my teenagehood. Thinking back all that, I’m grateful for what I’ve experienced. However, if only I could turn back time, probably I’ll do something differently onto some parts of it.
Some days, I am just as active and friendly as everybody else. I could talk a lot, I could assimilate without much trouble into new groups, I could make friends easily, I would join a lot of social clubs and activities. But for most of the days, my melancholic mood takes over me, and turns me completely into an introvert person, who doesn’t give a damn about others, and who feels uneasy to be among strangers and new acquintances.
I’ve given a lot of thoughts about it just then. And looking into the fact that, the past is irreversible, I should look forward to the future. I’m hoping to see that melancholic mood appear less in me. Anyway, enough blogging. Twenty five past three, and I’m ruining my own roadtrip for every single minute I am awake now. Good nite.